Once in a blue moon...

I never fail to realize that probably no one reads my blogs. However, I knew when I made this that was how it was going to be. I don't do anything special that I can talk about on here. I don't cook, im not crafty whatsoever, so all I really have to do is pour out my sorrows onto a stupid internet page. Every once in a while I take a notion to blog again. Most of the time nothing triggers it, but I've started reading The Diary of Anne Frank again (which EVERYONE should read at least once in life), and as I was reading one of the very first entries that she wrote shortly after receiving her diary, I was astonished at the fact that she never believed anyone would care what she was writing down. And honestly, no one should ever read a girl's diary right? But her words have changed so many lives and without it, no one would know the things that her family and that of all other Jews had to go through at this time. Its easy to fall in love with and relate to this girl.She seems so much like me, talking about how awkward she feels and how much lower her family makes her feel than her sister, Margot. If her writings that she thought no one would ever see have changed so many lives, I guess there is no reason for me not to write what goes on with me throughout the day. Not that I feel low and my parents sure as heck only reflect good feelings onto me. But I do find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more each day and its no ones fault but mine. Ive officially labeled myself as the "homebody" I go to school and out shopping by myself and occasionally with my mom and thats pretty much it. I enjoy being myself but I know it would be nice to get out and meet people, form new relationships,have friends for crying out loud. I dont know what is wrong with me. I just prefer being alone and it seems almost unhealthy at times. Im 22 years old, I should be out enjoying myself. Maybe in a year (woah) when im done with nursing school and start working, things will be different. Or so I hope, its about time I was happy again. I just cant seem to adapt to adult life. I was happy in high school, when we all did the same thing day in and day out. I always thought I embraced change but apparently, I don't.
School starts again on Monday and it will be my second to last semester of nursing school. I went all summer too so I can't seem to understand why "summer" is ending so soon for me. I have another section of medsurg this semester (blahh) and then OB!!!! I am so excited about OB, I just hope I enjoy it as much as I am expecting to. I still can't wait to be a nurse, its one thing I am excited about and it keeps me going, it along with my beautiful family. I had another dream last night that I was getting married. Its weird, they happen quite often and I never see the guys face but my family is there and its at my dream church. However, this is more of a nightmare because I really dont want to get married. It just doesnt seem worth it right now to me, but they say things change. And for many reasons, I can only hope they do.-Whitney

I have prayed constantly that God would allow me to spread his word and become one in Him. I truly believe I accomplished one part of realizing what he wants from me when I decided to become a nurse my senior year of high school. I really believe its my calling, and I can't imaging doing anything else as cliche as that may sound. Ive spent the past couple of years since high school feeling relatively lost emotionally, and in some ways spiritually. I was rebaptized last year and became a member of my church (the same church I have been going to since I was, as best as I can remember, 5 years old). I know God is working in my life and I have seen so many of my continuous prayers be answered. With all that is going on in this world right now I have really begun to consider ways that I can help. The only way I know that I can is by ministering to others and bringing the word of Christ into a world that needs it now more than ever. I don't believe that all this violence and tragedy that is rising up in this world to be the end of it, but rather the beginning of the church. My wonderful pastor used that line in his sermon a few weeks back and it has stuck with me ever since. I know God is calling us Christians to help make the world a better place and I would like to begin by bettering myself.
I don't know much about what life has in store for me. All I know is that for now it consists of text books, highlighters, care plans, and medication cards as well a relatively boring set of daily events. I have been asking God to allow me to break out of my comfort zone. Recently, I believe that prayer has been answered. I have decided that when I graduate I will take my medical and spiritual knowledge abroad. Where? I don't know yet but I have considered Africa, Mexico, India or wherever they may need help at the time. Im not talking about a full fledged move, just a month or two to help in any way I can. I realize there are people here in our own country who need our help and I will be here for their assistance as well. I just feel as though I am being called to do this and honestly, I can't wait.

I figured it had been long enough...

Thanks to seeing a friends post about starting a blog on facebook (Thanks Stacie) I decided I should post again, since I haven't in forever. No one really reads mine but I have a lot of thoughts in my head constantly and figured I might as well type them out. I can't post alot on facebook just because of all the family I have on there and they would just worry and even though ive been told it seems like it to some, I dont just "complain" for attention. When you rarely talk to anyone its hard to have to keep everything bottled up inside.
My boring life continues to move a long. I do things related to school pretty much all the time and when im not doing that im being as lazy as possible and/or thinking about the future. I pray every night that God helps me to leave what I can't control in his hands and I know he is doing that, but I know there are some things that I could change and im either too afraid, or I can't figure out how. I can't help but overcome the thought of being alone my whole life, but at the same time, I can't stand allowing myself to be happy relationship wise when so many others arent, is that weird? Btw, Trevor Bayne, I'll still totally be your valentine next year (or every day until then). It seems like when everyone else is out with friends, I am sitting at home. I enjoy alone time but sometimes its nice to have people you enjoy being around who you know care about you. I just really miss my best friend and I need a change in so many ways. I guess God is trying to show me I need knew people in my life, I just wish it would be a lot easier to find them. Im so thankful for my family. I dont know whered id be without them. I want to make that as clear as possible. I am beyond blessed, yet I still long for so much more.
Thats deep...

This thing isnt too bad so far

I am very much excited by the fact that my blog has had 8 views! I realize most of those views have been nothing short of a "glance and go" type thing but its huge to me...not gonna lie. I promise it will get more exciting with time.

God's creation and my lackluster photographry

I love art forms...all of them. Music, writing, you name it pretty much. However, most people that know me know that drawing is NOT my forte and now that flute playing is taking its place in history, ive found that photography is a nice escape. Nature is probably my favorite thing to photograph, aside from my adorable niece and nephew ofcourse! I haven't really tried taking pictures of anything else but as mentioned in my last entry, would like to start. I took this picture while on a trip to the Knoxville Zoo with family. See? I told you I wasn't all that exciting...even though zoo visits are exciting to me. I find God's creation to be truly amazing (amazing being an understatement) and that is probably why I enjoy taking pictures of nature and people. I wish everyone could see the world through God's eyes. Unfortunately for me, I never really did until relying on God was my only option. I was always a believer and always carried him in my heart with unconditional love, but once graduating high school I realized no matter how many people you think you will always have...you really probably wont have them. But you will always have God. Which got me really thinking about his unbelievable creation. I never would have thought about taking a picture of some flower while at the zoo, but now I feel like I see the world in a totally different view. You can't tell me that flowers come solely from a seed planted into the ground. Who provides the water and sunlight for its nutrition? I love the beautiful portraits that God paints for us everyday. I now love to observe God's artistic work in the sky with clouds and rainbows. My absolute favorite view is a ray of sunlight shining down on the earth. To me, that has always seemed like God peeking out to say "I am always here". I have thought that since I was a little girl and find nowadays that most of the time I see those rays at moments when I need God's guidance the most. His love is truly amazing and I have seen him do work in my life in great ways and I think him everyday for it. If I am never fortunate enough to have the loving husband, and house of kids that I have always wanted, I hope to do my nursing work on the mission field so I can spread God's word and his unconditional love. I just pray that others don't have to experience struggle before finding the Lord. For he loves us in times of rejoice, peril, and struggle.

"I can do all things through him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:13

"Whoever said you can't by happiness forgot little puppies."

Here goes....

My blog is mainly a place for me, and who knows I may not even keep it for that long. Im big on experimenting with new things. Mainly meaning I get bored quickly with one social networking device and then move onto another. I have to admit I never saw myself as a blogger, Im just really not that exciting, and if you stick around....you will quickly see for yourself. If I can think of some rad project or something to start, blogging may be a good place to share my experiences. I have no idea what to start however, suggestions are welcome. As I said earlier, I am big on experimenting with new things so why not start now and share them with you (whomever you may be)? I enjoy taking pictures and want to become a rather talented photographer, so I will posts some of my work here (once I learn more about this blogging stuff) so you can see them and take my journey with me. I have also vowed to break out of my "turtle shell" and make some new friends (even those I never saw myself being friends with) I have found people who seem at first to be completely opposite of me to eventually become some of my most wonderful companions. Other things such as getting in shape (which I havent been in since high school marching band), nursing school, and maybe even cooking a new recipe or two will also be parts of my journey. I love to help people out and hopefully some of the things I write about can help you out. Again, that is if you choose to read this lol. If not, atleast I have a place to pour out all the thoughts that rage through the non-stop mind of mine. It should be fun to see where I go from here with this thing, it would be wonderful to help so many people both near and far. I want this blog to be a place of inspiration, a wiping away of the tears of the broken hearted, a smile, a laugh, a "what in the world goes on in this girl's head", a 'soft place to land' so to speak. Until next time, may you seek the Lord in all that you do :)