Once in a blue moon...

I never fail to realize that probably no one reads my blogs. However, I knew when I made this that was how it was going to be. I don't do anything special that I can talk about on here. I don't cook, im not crafty whatsoever, so all I really have to do is pour out my sorrows onto a stupid internet page. Every once in a while I take a notion to blog again. Most of the time nothing triggers it, but I've started reading The Diary of Anne Frank again (which EVERYONE should read at least once in life), and as I was reading one of the very first entries that she wrote shortly after receiving her diary, I was astonished at the fact that she never believed anyone would care what she was writing down. And honestly, no one should ever read a girl's diary right? But her words have changed so many lives and without it, no one would know the things that her family and that of all other Jews had to go through at this time. Its easy to fall in love with and relate to this girl.She seems so much like me, talking about how awkward she feels and how much lower her family makes her feel than her sister, Margot. If her writings that she thought no one would ever see have changed so many lives, I guess there is no reason for me not to write what goes on with me throughout the day. Not that I feel low and my parents sure as heck only reflect good feelings onto me. But I do find myself feeling sorry for myself more and more each day and its no ones fault but mine. Ive officially labeled myself as the "homebody" I go to school and out shopping by myself and occasionally with my mom and thats pretty much it. I enjoy being myself but I know it would be nice to get out and meet people, form new relationships,have friends for crying out loud. I dont know what is wrong with me. I just prefer being alone and it seems almost unhealthy at times. Im 22 years old, I should be out enjoying myself. Maybe in a year (woah) when im done with nursing school and start working, things will be different. Or so I hope, its about time I was happy again. I just cant seem to adapt to adult life. I was happy in high school, when we all did the same thing day in and day out. I always thought I embraced change but apparently, I don't.
School starts again on Monday and it will be my second to last semester of nursing school. I went all summer too so I can't seem to understand why "summer" is ending so soon for me. I have another section of medsurg this semester (blahh) and then OB!!!! I am so excited about OB, I just hope I enjoy it as much as I am expecting to. I still can't wait to be a nurse, its one thing I am excited about and it keeps me going, it along with my beautiful family. I had another dream last night that I was getting married. Its weird, they happen quite often and I never see the guys face but my family is there and its at my dream church. However, this is more of a nightmare because I really dont want to get married. It just doesnt seem worth it right now to me, but they say things change. And for many reasons, I can only hope they do.-Whitney