I will follow you, why would I not?

Some of my best ideas for blogs lately have come while sitting in the computer room while my niece and nephew play their Disney games. I listen to them laugh, and brag about their accomplishments and my pen goes crazy with notes as I flip through my Bible (hello children's ministry calling!). I was reading Ruth yesterday, I got encouraged by the book when we studied it in our young adults group at church (miss my peeps!). Anyway im astonished at the way Ruth speaks about her love for her family and faith in what she has been called to do. Ive spoken a lot about relationships lately, not just for me, but also for many people who are dear to my heart and for those I dont know that are lost in there own relationships. Now my thoughts on it may make you angry and part of my wants to apologize for that, and then again part of me has trouble caring. Im a believer in that there are 3 components to a true relationship. Two being the person and their partner (sadly I have to pick my words carefully these days) and one being a spirit, the spirit of Christ. Losing sight of God makes us lose many things that are dear to us, those things He provided. I know many wonderful Christian couples who have had rough relationships and im not out to offend anyone who has been divorced, I want everyone and people of all kinds of relationships and pasts to see Gods work in this blog. I learned from Ruth one thing I already knew, that God calls each of us to walk His path and sometimes the ending is not what we expected but its worth more than we ever could have predicted. Ruth married a son of Elimelech and this made her the daughter in law of Naomi. Naomi had two sons. Elimelech (Naomi's husband) died and a few short years later so do her two sons. Leaving her with no husband or children. Naomi took her two daughters in law to Judah where the land had been blessed. Soon Naomi turns to her daughters and says "Go back to your mothers', I am no good for you anymore."1:8 At first both girls denied her but then Naomi explained that she would not bare anymore sons and even if she did, the women could not wait for the boys to grow old enough to marry. Basically, she had nothing to offer them. Hearing this, Oprah (another daughter in law) turned away and went back to her native land. Naomi once again encouraged Ruth to follow suit, but Ruth goes on to recite perhaps one of the most beautiful verses in the Bible, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. Where you go I will go, wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God,. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us. " Ruth 1: 16-17. THIS IS REAL LOVE PEOPLE! Why should you want to be anywhere but with the person/people you love?! I hope someday to look into my husbands eyes and be able to recite this verse with true meaning. It should not be a chore to go with the one you love, or to walk with the Lord. Naomi is sure that the Lord has taken away all that she has but Ruth proves otherwise, she proves that she has faith in her mother and in the Lord. Naomi is rich with the biggest fortune of all, love, but like many of us, she doesn't realize that. She sees one tragedy as the end to all, that taking away those she loved left her with nothing when instead it left her with a daughter in law that showed true devotion and loyalty. And this continues to prove my ongoing point that sometimes our battles bring about our truest of true blessings. Once in Judah Naomi sends Ruth out to pick up scraps left behind by workers in the field of Boaz who we later discover was a relative of Elimilech. The kind hearted Boaz comes up to Ruth and basically tells her to go forth and pick with his own workers, that they will purposely leave some for you and Ruth is confused by this. Afterall she is a foreigner and has been welcomed into this land as one of the natives (we all know that probably wouldnt happen in todays world right?) Boaz answers "I know, but I also know about everything  you have done for your mother in law since the death of your husband." (Ruth 2:11). See? love and loyalty are rewarded by God. When Ruth chooses to sale her family land, Boaz agrees to not only purchase the land but to marry Ruth so they can bare a son and he will inherit the land. And they indeed do bare a son, a true gift from the heavens just like any child. The Lord gives new love and peace that surpasses all understanding to Ruth and to Naomi, the one that thought all had been taken from her. She now had received what she had lost. A son. And she now had someone to care for her when she became old, and someone to carry on the land. She had not lost anything!!! Sometimes our biggest battles lead to our greatest joys. I mean WOW! I find myself incredibly jealous of the selfless love that both Ruth and Boaz shared. It was a challenge for Ruth and Naomi as both left all that they knew and what little they did have, but they were rewarded in due time BECAUSE THEY WALKED THE PATH!! And they remembered to show the one thing we all forget. To love. In how many relationships do you honestly see selfless love? Its hard to get two people on the same page. But HELLO! Its right here in the black and white. Theres a big discussion that I never care to be a part of that certain things in the Bible are too old fashioned and that "God didnt mean for us to live this way forever" (blah blah) but I stand firm that this is one thing we should NOT change on. In 1 Peter verse 7 God tells men to take their wives as an equal even if they are indeed lesser and this is what Boaz did for Ruth! She was poor and picking scraps in fields, but he changed her life through love. Men, I challenge you to become Boaz, and women, dont be afraid to be a Ruth.

Are you just gonna stay here forever?

...She asked me as I got her set down in front of the computer with her favorite Disney games. I wanted to go back downstairs for some rare quiet time but what do you do when a sweet 4 year old voice asks that question? My first instinct was that she was being sarcastic. My reply: "Not if you dont want me too" and as I reach down to grab the laundry and head out I hear "No, I do want you too." I didnt do much, just sat in the floor next to her chair and spent some time with God and the Bible. But I was there. They say childhood is the best time of your life. That the "stresses" we face here dont come near to those you face as an adult (let me be the first to say that can be true). They also say your past doesn't have to predict your future. You might disagree when I say it does. I was that 12 year old 6th grader who had acne before anyone else did or even knew what it was and I wanted to cry when kids asked "whats on your face?", I had crooked teeth, glasses, bad hair, and TERRIBLE style. At times I even thought the teachers were laughing at me. I got teased by boys in my science and math classes, I looked at all the other girls and wondered why they seemed to be developing in a less awkward way than myself. I thought of myself as ugly but something kept telling me to be me. To not change my crazy style and stop shopping for clothes at Walmart (hence why I still do so today sometimes). I was the social outcast, band nerd, and had very few friends. Things got better as school years went on. I actually had people crush on me in 7th grade and through high school after I ditched the glasses and finally through on alittle makeup. Self confidence issues still hovered over me but then came my freshmen year of college. My growing up. My redemption. I went to a place of dirty, old community showers, hardcore drinkers, talks of late nights with guys they barely new, and rolling in at 1 AM and purposely waking me up just because I was the only one that stayed back to be ready for class the next day. Thats when I realized a person with no confidence wouldnt make it in this world. I once again had virtually no friends that shared any of my interests and when I had my first broken heart stuck in this shady atmosphere, there was no one to turn to but the voice of my sweet momma on the phone from 3 hours away. Thats also when I realized God was the only true presence. The one that was with me ALWAYS, not just sometimes. I think it took that to show me who I was. Im now out of that situation, still trying to figure out everyday who He wants me to be. So how do you define presence? Its not being a world saver or knowing EXACTLY what to say in someones time of grief. No one has all the answers and no one can heal you except for that soft spirit of Jesus. Im reminded of the 90s show Home Improvement, dont lie you've seen it. The main character, Tim, always has some kind of a problem in every show. And it never fails, we always see him go outside to the man across the fence,Wilson for some advice. We can't ever see his face, and he never tells Tim exactly what to do. But he does give some divine knowledge. Now im NOT trying to be sacreligious (sp?) but in some way this is how God is. His answers to our prayers arent always the exact answer that we ask for. He doesnt paint us a picture or lay it out in black and white. But there is always an answer, a sense of peace. He brings glory to us in the same way that we bring it to Him. He makes us who we are in His own time and pattern because He wants the world to embrace HIS creation. I prayed so long and hard to get into the college of my dreams. God answered that prayer but also showed me that wasnt part of His plan for me and how dare I mistreat his creation? He cleansed me, made me whole. Showed me I was meant to be a crusader for Him and not stuck somewhere in a college town trying to be someone im not. He was and IS my PRESENCE. A big thing in nursing school is being THERE for the patient. Understanding. Thats what its all about. To be there for your friends and enemies just like God is there for us. Always. Never backing away because they do something we dont agree with or if its "not our problem". I never had that real presence/shoulder to cry on as a college freshman but again, through my struggles I found the real thing I should have been relying on the whole time. Prayer. I was redeemed. I learned to love who God created ME to be. I stopped wanting to be all those other girls I wanted to be in middle school. God gave me those acne scars because He knew I needed to embrace my inner beauty and all that outer beauty I have now (ok just kidding). I got braces to fix those crooked teeth and show the beautiful smile God personally sculpted for me. He saw me as the prime example of the person who needed to embrace who SHE was, so he used scars so that I could love who I am now. Just like he used His used His own Son's scars to show love for us. And with that, how can you not love yourself? Years ago I would have agreed with you if you called me ugly, I still might on somedays that I choose to go out with no makeup and curly hair, but all in all I truly believe I am beautiful inside and out because I was made by one TRUE artiste. Creator of all creators. The past does not define us, but maybe our struggles do. Because each one has its purpose. Today I sit here as a much stronger woman. A daughter of God and two wonderful parents, a granddaughter, sister, niece, auntie, friend, prayer warrior, sinner saved by Gods amazing grace, a talented musician whose no longer ashamed, a beautiful soul with scars all her own. Still a FUTURE nurse because God wasn't ready for it yet. A future missionary, a lover of all with much more love to give. I am that shoulder to cry on, that presence through Him. He is with You and Me always. I am redeemed.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Mop?

Can you tell I love children's ministry? I love it for so many reasons. One because I just really love the way the eyes of a child see the world. God speaks to them in his own way and yet we adults can learn from a children's message to,sometimes in a completely different way. One thing I love about each book of the Bible is that there are so many lessons to be learned in each one if you take the time to look at it the right way. The past couple of nights my sweet nephew has bought me his little "My First Bible" book and asked me to read it to him. I love his. Not just because I love the fact that at 3 years old hes already interested in the Bible,while I know he cant understand every little meaning, he gets it. He sees something in it that I dont see, and vice versa. The other night while playing "school" with he and my niece, they picked out a Veggie Tales book (hence the title of this blog) and asked me to read it aloud the "Class" which just consisted of the three of us ofcourse. To make a long story short, the book is all about facing your fears and Larry and Bob are detectives who have been called to help find a missing girl who is just hiding because she is afraid to get on stage for a spelling bee. Now to keep the little ones entertained the book mentions that Larry has nightmares about mops attacking him and when trying to find the little girl who is somewhere in the school, he walks into a dark custodians closet where he is indeed attacked by mops. But when hearing these loud noises, the little girl becomes curious and leaves her hiding spot where she is found. Cute way to get the point across. It is then that she tells everyone she prayed about her fears and God removed them from her. So for the children, the message is relatively clear. God will always listen and is always there to chase away our fears. I'll share with you how I interpeted it. By facing his own fear of the mops, Larry helped the lost get found. And I cant help but think thats what God wants us to do. Like when your ministering to a nonbeliever or to a stranger whose beliefs you are unsure of. You fear being judged or made fun of by todays society, but you know this is what God has called you to do and by facing that fear, you help the lost get found in their faith. Or like when your called to mission work in a state youve never been too or better yet a third world country where your not sure where your meals or hot showers will come from. But by taking a leap of faith and facing this fear of the unknown, your doing the work of God. Could you imagine the fear of Mary and Joseph when they were told that this innocent virgin was carrying the true Son of God? Could you imagine hearing, "You will call him Jesus" or being pregnant and on camel back and hearing, "there is no room for you here"? But, this little boy birthed by a virgin would save an unknown world. Like when Jonah is called to witness to the people of Ninevah, but he is afraid and runs from Gods calling and then is shipwrecked into the ocean, taken into the mouth of a whale and then saved. By this Jonah, is maybe found a little himself and goes on to teach the people of Ninevah to repent. Whether you like it or not, Gods plan will be. Then theres what has become one of my favorite books, the book of Job. His three friends place judgement on him, insisting he must have sinned in order to recieve such punishment of God. In reality, they are the ones sinning and God teaches them this but does not punish them. He just simply asks Job to pray for them. So in Job's time of struggle, 3 friends learn a lesson in their faith. Have you ever thought that maybe your struggles today are for this reason also? To help someone renew their faith or maybe find it for the first time. By writing these blogs about my struggles and lessons learned in them, ive had several people tell me their inspired by my relationship with God and long to have a better one themselves. Im so thankful God has lead me to do that, to show others that what God has done for me, He can and will also do for you. I didnt ask for Him to bring me to struggles. I have asked to become closer to him each and every day. And through struggles, we are drawn closer.He calls the ordinary to do extraordinary things, and thats what He has done for me. Telling me not to be afraid, because everything has a meaning, perhaps to show others what He can do, like he shows so often in the Bible. If He chooses to show His power and grace to others through you, don't shy away. For like Job, you will be rewarded. If with nothing else, great gratification like mine. "By his wounds, you are healed." 1 Peter 2:24