And heres to a long line of sinners like me

Who am I? Im a person thats breaking at the seams. I am not a perfect Christian and today proved that. I let the Devil win in so many different ways. I cried entirely too many tears over things I cant control. I wanted to run and hide form the world. I wanted to get out of Tennessee and forget about school. I wanted to be halfway across the world, in Kentucky, in my car driving with no real idea of a location. I wanted to be anywhere but stuck in this life that I have set before me right now. Im at a low point. That point in your life when the college kid in you realizes your graduating in less than 4 months. That finally realizes its not about fantasizing about your career anymore, its about DOING it. BEING a nurse. I have to write my resume and make it look decent enough for a job eventhough I dont feel like ive done anything noteworthy. I have to apply for a gazillion jobs and hope that one in Kentucky comes calling and that somehow in some sweet miracle ill come up with the money to move my life from here to there and start over. I have to pay nearly 500$ this semester for the NCLEX, my "pin", graduate fees, criminal background checks, etc. All while trying to pass 3 classes with an 80 otherwise I can kiss any of the above goodbye. Is this what we live for? Really? It cant be? I live for Jesus, but Satan is trying to win this battle. He reared his ugly head today and I almost gave into his convincing that everything was NOT going to be ok. Last night when I went to bed I asked that God put his arms around me and some other friends who were struggling right now. I suddenly felt jus that. Soft arms cuddling me. Im not making this up. I know God is with me even in the toughest of times even if he is trying to push me away from the plans I have made for MYSELF. Its not about me. When will I learn? The next 3 months may very well tell alot about what my future holds. Im not patient, but God has called me to listen. I just pray I can continue to feel his arms around me. Without him, I will not make it through this caos.